I wanted to get my 9yr old step-son involved in sports, but he has a problem behaving and listening at school and at home. We allowed him to play basketball last year, but this year, he's back to misbehaving. I feel like playing sports is a privilege and should be taken away until the child learns discipline. His moms wants to allow him to continue playing. Is one of us right or wrong?
Also, he's a hassle to coach. He's rarely paying attention, drags through drills and has an excuse for everything when he struggles.

My 2 part question is 1) should he be allowed to play sports if he's misbehaving? and 2) If he does play sports, should he be on my team or someone elses team? (that way, I'm not always getting on him at home and at practice).

please help

1frustratedCoach

Tough situation there coach, I'm not sure there's a definite "right or wrong" answer here. I'm guessing there was a divorce and some of what you're seeing has to do with that. I could be wrong as I don't know the specifics, so I'm just throwing that out as a possible underlying issue.

I think your question deals more with family dynamics and how everyone has agreed to parent this 9 year old. Getting on the same page with mom on discipline issues would be helpful. Another key factor is how much your step-son really wants to play basketball. If he's misbehaving in school and you want to use basketball as an incentive to correct that behavior, basketball has to be something he really wants to do.

If a kid is not listening and misbehaving off the court, just playing basketball probably won't fix that as you already know.

Let me ask you this? Is there a hobby that you both could enjoy together where you spend time with your son off the court? Fishing, hiking, riding bikes, etc.? Something unrelated to basketball. I think heading that direction could help things in the long run as you'll strengthen your relationship with your step-son by spending time in a common fun hobby.

If your step son is enjoying the sport and not acting out on team time then I'd keep him involved. Sports is a great outlet. He just may turn around when he sees his success at something that he also enjoys. If you take him out of sports what will he be doing instead? Sounds like it would be more goof off time then he may get involved in something that would cause more misbehaving. I'd keep him in sports but definitely not on your team. That sounds like it would be counter productive. Lots of luck and treat him as your own, remembering that he is in an awkward position. He didn't choose you as his dad, his mom did.